Look at those check marks marching off the screen - lovely, aren't they?There won't be a mark for tonight, and that is the result of quite a bit of consideration. I plan to have two beers and watch a movie, and feel confident about that decision. I did not make it lightly.
Over the last week, the thought of drinking has become fainter and fainter, and for the last four days hasn't made a ripple. That is what I've been waiting for: the underlying calm, the gut knowledge that I can drink like a normal person and have two beers on a weekend night without it bleeding into three or four or five or Tuesday.
I do feel some hesitation because it seems a little soon, but that's it. I've been over it, looking for chinks in the armor, asking myself if I'm playing with fire or making excuses. But knowing I can have two drinks feels like knowing I have blue eyes. Simple. No question.
I have been very proud of myself over the last two and a half weeks, and I'm not about to fuck that up.
Self Indulgence is not invited to the movie tonight.
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