Love

I haven't seen hide nor hair of that internal tension since those couple of days last month, so it seems it was a passing thing. In retrospect it probably had nothing to do with drinking - I'd been missing Dad something fierce those days and I think it was him I wanted to kiss my head. Once it dawned on me that we were having the same sort of beautiful weather we had last year when he went into the hospital, the pieces fell into place and my stomach and mind relaxed.

It also reminded me of how few years we have on this earth and yet how many people we can love all the way from head to toe. I feel very blessed to have every one of you in my life, with your personalities and smiles and ways of being.

Thanks to Lori and our conversation yesterday for helping me to articulate that last bit. The part where your chest fills up and you think there simply can't be enough time to appreciate every moment, every person, everything you love, and now you're overflowing and could someone get you a tissue please? But it's all right because it's a cumulative thing, love. It goes on and builds whether you're focused on it or not, and then you turn around one day and it's a fucking mountain.