The doctor was right about craving sweets. In the past I've had chocolate around so long it passed the expiration date, but the last few nights dinner has been followed by a Reese's cup and two fingers of a KitKat. Funny what the body wants and how it knows where to find it. I'm going to switch out the chocolate for olives tomorrow.
No real cravings for alcohol, and the six-pack in the fridge has become just something I look past when I reach for the iced tea or tonic water. It's hard to describe, but I feel the nights are missing something without feeling like I'm missing out on anything. I think it's simply the change in routine and each evening gets a little easier, a little longer, and a little fuller. The other night I spent a good twenty minutes on the floor brushing the dogs one after the other, then read until I was sleepy. And woke up feeling good.
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I woke up feeling good too. And I know exactly what you mean about missing something without missing out. When you give up something you are so used to having in your life it feels like a loss even though, in actuality, you've gained something. Sometimes there's a feeling of sadness, off and on, because you are almost mourning a part of yourself that you've "lost". Going with the flow is key and (although I am not a bit surprised), that sounds like exactly what you're doing: "hmm...look at that...look at what I am feeling now...interesting."
That's exactly what I'm feeling, a sense of loss. But I'm also feeling a sense of stability and accomplishment and that more than makes up for it.
Yep. It gets easier as it goes along...until you get bored. Watch out for boredom. Or for the feelings of, "Hell I've been a good boy/girl; I deserve a treat!"
It's a slippery slope, my dear sis.
I'm trying very hard not to get bored, Adam. And if I do, to remind myself that 1) DO something and 2) having a drink isn't going to lift my boredom enough to make up for the anger or disappointment I'll feel afterward or the next. So far it's working, but will keep your warning in mind!
There is a Lansing chapter of NCA that I might check out. My doctor said AA is more outer-directed (God, relinquishing control, etc.) where NCA is more inner-directed. Sounded good to me and I told her that I'd keep an open mind.
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