Day 2

One step forward, two steps back.

Feeling okay and I think I'll feel fine tomorrow, but that might just be self-indulgence talking and I know damn well I'd feel better if I had stopped with the beer (big big mug of Miller Lite) at dinner and one glass of wine once I reached home.

Instead, I kept pouring myself wine, finished the bottle, and opened a Newcastle. Only one sip from that, and the wine just caught up with me, but dollars to donuts this beer is empty by the time I'm done with this post.

That's okay. I have tomorrow. And the next and the next and the next.

I finally spoke with a great friend of mine tonight about my concerns. We talked about diet and exercise and not drinking, and while we were talking about Weight Watchers I learned I'm drinking an average of 18 points a day. That's practically the total number of points she was allowed when she started Weight Watchers! I think she was a little surprised that not only am I drinking daily, but that it's 5-8 rather than 3-4 drinks a night. I need an ally here, and she is someone I can lean on.

I have a two-pronged thing going on here. One, I'm worried. I need to stop drinking. Two, I need to lose weight and removing 18 points right off the bat has to help. I eat well otherwise and am pretty conscious of my portions. Wouldn't it be simplest to eliminate alcohol or severely reduce it, so it's once or twice a week, one or two drinks?

Tonight is a wash and I'll pound water before I go to bed to dilute this shit, but let's see what happens over this next week. I need this. I need this for so many reasons.