Ah, how we pull the wool over our own eyes.
For months I've been thinking I have this under control, that it's not so bad, that it's not impacting my day-to-day life, and while on one hand that's true, it's still a load of horseshit.
It's still a problem. I look back over these posts and immediately see what I've edited out, what I've minimized. The fact is, plain and simple, it's a problem.
It's a problem if you have zero money and you buy a pint of Bacardi. It's a problem if you've carried Antabuse in your pocket to work each day for weeks but don't take it when it is time.
I have to get past the idea that I can be sober Monday through Thursday and drink on the weekend. Even a beer with friends - simply not a good idea. I need a complete shutdown.
I want to be a better wife, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend, and a better me.
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Going for some type of accountability here, because good Lord do I need it. It's slightly worse than I'll let on, but still much better than it could be.
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